Another year gone by. Facing the resolutions.

Happy 2016 everyone. High or low resolution count, we work with what we can obtain, not with what we cannot obtain!

Working From Home...The New Compensated Solitary Confinement?

Hello all! It's been a while since I've checked in with a blog post. In fact, I haven't had much to say the past couple of months since you have last heard from me. My creative juice is low, and my need to write has been on the back-burner since I find it difficult to sit down to write after 10 hours of sitting down for work.

You see, I work from home, and have done so for two years now. I literally crawl out of bed, put on the same pair of house pants and t-shirt, and walk across the hall to my "office" to start the day in front of a computer.

Now, before you begin thinking, "how lucky is she?" and "what do you do for a living...I want to sign up for that!" consider this post as a rain-on-your-grass-is-greener-conversation. Not to sound negative, but the public mindset of working from home is quite interesting. The reactions I receive from strangers when I tell them I work from home varies, but for the most part, there is envy.

In part, this envy might stem from media. I typically see job advertisements recruiting for work-from-home positions that look like this:

"I LOVE getting dressed up for the office, but instead complete my job tasks on the floor at home. In fact, I can knock out my yoga practice WHILE working! What a FLEXIBLE schedule! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaaah, ha!"

"With a computer in front of me, and a toy truck in front of Junior, this work from home lifestyle is a cinch! I too prefer the floor, because office chairs are for cubicles! Screw cubicles! This is fun!"

I can vouch that this propaganda is pure B.S. Sure, I sit on the floor occasionally like these people, but it's because my back is killing me, and I need a change of scene. The visual message these photos convey is far from the truth.  *Disclaimer: The type of work that one is performing at home will influence the opinion of the work-from-home experience. Note that working part-time from home or a job that entails working from home but meeting with clients, etc. is not the type of work I'm speaking of here. The type of work I perform is fairly inflexible, meetings are non-stop, and work is performed independently but with a team that is also remote...No eye-to-eye human contact, no change of scene or new experiences, and critical data checks and entry is carried out on several computer programs all day. Ok, got that out of the way...

In looking at these photos, one gets the sense that the rigid office chair is kicked to the side, spending time with loved ones is on the forefront, and you can multi-task life and work with a beer in hand. Here is what I have learned about working from home:

• The simple act of getting dressed for work gives you a sense of purpose. When you work from home, you throw on the same stinky clothing each day and leave your hair unbrushed. Brushing your teeth might be forgotten too. Ick. Before you know it, you feel like you haven't contributed much good will to yourself or other human beings.
• Working from home and spending time with your family is a fallacy. Sure, you are already home when you log off your computer and save countless hours being stuck in commuter traffic, but the fact is that your work is ALWAYS there. Companies with a larger telecommuter population work around the clock--emails, requests and deadlines extend to midnight instead of 5pm. Before you know it, you have hardly spent much time with your loved ones because you are at your work computer between waking and sleeping hours.
• Speaking of having loved ones at home while you are working, there is fault in this too. Interruptions abound while you are trying to focus on a given task. Your home life bleeds into your working life. Your spouse flushes the toilet while you are on a conference call. The list is endless and before you know it, you never relax because your brain is constantly in work mode because you cannot literally leave your work at the end of the day. Or, you think about personal tasks and get caught up in what's going on around you and find it difficult to work. Constant tug-of-war.
• While one can potentially drink beer, wine, etc. while working, it's not advisable. Two words come to mind: Slippery slope. Drinking on the job at lunch, might turn into every day at lunch, then breakfast, lunch and dinner...and before you know it, your boss is questioning why you have increasingly produced flawed work. (I don't speak from experience here, but I can see how this could take a hold of me.)
• Lastly, the largest aspect of working strictly from home is the feeling of solitary confinement. I have to hole myself up in the home office to focus on the minutia of my work. My days last anywhere between 8 - 12 hours in front of a computer. Many days, I don't talk to anyone. I listen in on teleconferences, give a brief 3-minute update, or field a random phone inquiry. After two years of working in this type of environment, I've noticed a silent but increasingly alarming change in myself. My level of patience has decreased. My sense of humor diminishes Mon-Fri. My anger (about many things, some trivial) has increased. I cry incessantly about nothing sometimes, and feel very depressed, which ebbs and flows. Sometimes I'm anxious. Sometimes I have insomnia, and sometimes I want to sleep all day. What the hell is wrong with me?!?

Suspecting that I need to vary my day more, I remedy the situation by working at a coffee shop (when my schedule allows,) or by joining a group fitness class at the end of the day. These actions help, but do not alleviate. I find that most of the time I go into public, the interaction is minimal and most people keep to themselves. Additionally, there's no way to balance 8-12 hours of solitary time against 1-2 hours of being around others in public. The emotional roller coaster I have been experiencing feels like torture, and I joke with my husband that I liken my work to solitary confinement. He smirks, but inside, I feel this to be true.

Is there a difference here?

To amuse myself, I took to researching what solitary confinement does to the brain. Granted, take this with a grain of salt, because the effects of true solitary confinement would be much more severe than working from home solitarily.

This quote from solitarywatch.com rings true. We define ourselves by those in our workplace, our circle of friends, and even the strangers we come into contact with. We learn more about ourselves from others than we do from our own self-exploration. Think about every single time you are with someone, your opinions and thoughts are either validated or challenged.

Scientists have further found through animal and human research that solitary confinement has a causal relationship on the structure of the brain, and in fact may degenerate the brain! When a living creature is confined from others, the body experiences difficulty in regulating stress hormones, leading to a dangerous buildup that causes neurons to die in the cerebral cortex. The cerebral cortex is the part of the brain that makes us most "human." Many released prisoners have reported long-term symptoms of introversion, paranoia, anxiety and depression after release from solitary confinement. It took only a minimum of 3 months of solitary confinement for these adverse effects to kick in.

Holy freaking moly! These are symptoms similar to what I've been experiencing over the course of a couple of years (lesser degree of confinement.) Is this a coincidence or am I onto something? 

An article on braindecoder.com indicates, "Although there's no single agreed-upon definition of solitary confinement, the United Nations describes it as any routine where prisoners are held in small cells for at least 22 hours a day under constant video surveillance. The cramped, concrete cells, often just 6x10 feet, are constantly illuminated by fluorescent light and contain a bed, sink, toilet, and not much else. Except for prison guards, inmates are intentionally deprived of other people and stimuli, including television, radio, and perhaps no more than a few books."

Working from home is described as a routine where employees conduct work in their home (of varying sizes, often equal to or larger than 6x10 feet) for at least 8 hours a day under constant email surveillance. The home office is generally set-up according to the the employee's liking, though requires a desk, sink, toilet, and the constant use of a computer, deprived of other stimuli.

No doubt my research of this subject matter has raised ethical questions with our incarceration practices, (such as the chicken or the egg subject-matter on mental illness vs. the effects of solitary confinement for ex-cons integrating back into society.) Additionally, this research can be lightly compared to lifestyles where people choose--or don't choose--lifestyles that contribute to feelings of loneliness.  

A bbc.com article reports the ill effects of loneliness, excerpt captured below, in which I further believe our modern lifestyle puts us into the lonely category. Facebook, cell phones, telecommuting...all done alone.

Could it be possible that the increase in mental illness statistics directly correlate with technology's influence to a more solitary lifestyle? Can the new employer telecommuter model actually cause more problems with our emotional health? 

BBC.com ended their article about solitary confinement with the story of the famous 1968 round-the-world sailing race, and the differing effects of isolation on the sailors, namely Moitessier and Crowhurst: 

I'd love to hear from others who work from home--what types of internal changes that have occurred (if any) or how to cope with the lack of human contact and stimulus.

Sources:

solitarywatch.com

time.com

wired.com

braindecoder.com

bbc.com

Parting from Home

I was told that I will never know what it is like to be a mother until I have a child. I was told that realities will always differ from dreams. But no one ever told me what it would feel like to sell a house. Today, we officially closed on our little 1925 stucco home that we have labored and loved for over a decade.

Before our closing appointment, Hubby and I stopped by to pick up a few remaining belongings. I walked through each room, soaking it all in one last time. One. Last. Time. I touched each wall. Relished in each room's beauty. Felt the pride in all of the work we completed. Pure sadness rushed through me, knowing that we would no longer...

• Hear the wood floors creak and tap beneath our footsteps
• Look out toward the street and historic homes from our corner window
• Awake as the morning light peeks through the teak bedroom blinds
• Cook amazing meals in one of the best kitchens I've ever had
• Take hot baths in the extra large original bathtub
• Enjoy time with friends and family as they spontaneously stop by
• Hear the brass knocker at our door
• Fidget with the quirky deadbolt each time we enter the house
• Tend to the raised garden bed while the neighbor's dog ran about and barked at us
• Run into our wonderful neighbors on the street and talk for hours
• Brush against the large rosemary bushes while walking down the sidewalk
• Seeing the ornate light fixture casting dancing shadows onto our porch at night
• Backing out of the driveway and looking at one of the most unique houses I've seen, proudly calling it home

I thanked the house. The gratitude was unspeakable, and no words could define what this house has given us.

This house will not retain those memories. We take memories with us. As tragically depressing it was to say goodbye, I had to assure myself that I'm not leaving everything behind, just the house. The house remains for others to make their memories in. I hope that what now feels like infinite sadness, would eventually become a shining moment of our lives starting out together.

A great article that sums up the selling blues quite well, "Saying Farewell to a Home" brought some solace, and the reader comments were comforting. Some folks however, claimed they never overcame the grief of selling their home. I suppose only time will tell for us.

For now, we have no choice but to move forward, (with what I'm sure will be more home renovations in another house,) and new memories to make.

Bittersweet Completion. Labor of Love. Cue the Melancholy Violin Music.

I'm finally following up with you on the progress of our beloved 1925 Moorish/Spanish bungalow. Hubby and I have been knee-deep in completing the painstaking remodeling details and prep work--tedious paintwork here, landscaping there, and simple cleaning up of our possessions--to prepare our home for sale. Our realtor advised getting it on the market this month for best visibility and chance of a sale. Paperwork has been signed last week, but we have not officially listed our home yet. Our realtor already found us a potential buyer--a friend of hers. We showed him around this weekend and he's VERY interested.

Now that we have met our buyer (which I reluctantly did not want to meet our BUYER,) and we have staged our home for viewers to see our restored home, something happened to us in an instant. We became depressed. 

I was feeling the anxiety a few weeks ago, which I initially thought was related to the stress of getting the house completed within deadline. Last month, I felt excited about getting it on the market. Carrying two mortgages for two years, and giving up almost every weekend for nine years to work on your home is tough. Doesn't do wonders for the social life and tests the marriage bond too. Oddly, the sadness slapped us in a matter of hours of meeting our potential buyer.

This house has integrated itself as a focal point of our lives for the past decade. Now, we are seeing it as a foreboding death of a loved one. It's the first house Hubby purchased. It's the house that my Hubby was living in when we met. The first house we co-habitated in. The first house we restored, just Hubby and I, for the duration of our relationship. It's our first house as a married couple. In fact, we chose our ceremony spot in front of a salvaged mansion window in the botanical garden, with a similar-looking keyhole opening.

This house has provided us many terrific memories with friends and family. A house that is one of the most unique and beautiful homes I have ever lived in. A house that we tailored to our interests and tastes. It is a house that is 90 years old, and needed to be restored to its original glamour, which takes time. I never imagined that I would feel this incredible sadness. Hubby has lived in the house longer than I have. I can only imagine how he has been feeling too.

The "what-ifs" began to eat me up. What if I wouldn't have gone back to my old job 50 miles away? What if my hubby didn't quit his job to land one closer to mine? What if we wouldn't have purchased another home? What if even though we experienced crappy times here, we stuck it out and stayed? I've been beating myself up. Apparently, these feelings are normal for home sellers--especially for those of us who have painfully restored an old home, or have experienced many life milestones within its walls. Hubby and I have consoled ourselves through websites and user comments such as this one, this one, and this one.

The reality is, we already purchased another home. We spent many weekends moving our possessions into the new home. We changed jobs and will change jobs again. We have moved forward. We moved away two years ago. Decisions have been made. Paperwork has been signed. There is no turning back. My new motto right now is this one:

So, in a melancholy mood, I will share with you the bittersweet completion of our home renovations. I wish we could live in it for a while to enjoy the fruits of our labor. However, it is what it is. Hopefully the next person inhabiting it will appreciate it as much as we do. Join me as I take you through a tour of our lovely home.

Our home was built to have an entry foyer. It is a little room that could be closed off from the rest of the house and used for visiting, or keeping your coatrack and fainting sofa for removing winter wear. The previous homeowner tore out the french doors leading to the living room and its adjacent walls. We added the walls back in to re-create the entry foyer, but made the doorway wider and did not add doors to retain the open feel. Here is how we decorated the entry, as you first walk in the door.

View into the living room from the entry foyer. You can see here the walls we added back in to create separation between the entry and living room. We also added a wall back in to delineate the living room from the dining room. The previous owner tore that wall down as well, which was way too "open" for a 1920s bungalow. We love allowing openness, but didn't want to see the kitchen from the entryway. If anything needed to be open, it was the kitchen, which we took care of. But more on that later. In general, laying out furniture and designing in an open concept house is not easy either. So, we built the wall with two doorways to allow the feel of openness, but give separation between the living and eating rooms. Having a wall to set a chair or table in front of makes the world of a difference.

Now, let's step further into the living room. We were lucky that this house still had the original art deco fireplace. Ground shifts underneath the home caused some cracking at the base of the fireplace, which we repaired. Sadly, many folks tear out original fireplaces because they crack or stain, but all of that is repairable. Having an original fireplace really speaks to the style of the home, and is the focal point of your living space. This fireplace was so cozy on a cold winter's night. 

Now we are entering into the dining room, looking at the kitchen. The bulk of the work we did on our home is the kitchen. It was previously completely walled in, with a kitchen door. It had one small counter and was not designed for modern appliances--lower cabinet doors could not be opened with the stove in front of them. We tore most of the wall out, leaving part of it as a built-in bar, and opened the doorway entry much wider. We re-configured the countertops into a U-shape and tore out the upper cabinets and replaced the upper portion with open stainless shelving. The kitchen looked much bigger without the upper cabinets. Nixing the upper cabinets also allowed for brighter lighting, and we could hang bars on the wall to get kitchen "stuff" off of the counters.

Since the kitchen footprint is small, we decided to vault the ceiling of the kitchen--we could add more storage vertically, and the increased space above our heads made it feel much larger. The fir-down with the canned lights you see here was where the original ceiling was. We retained the edging of the original ceiling to add ample lighting, which was another aspect our kitchen was originally missing. We found this killer used window (but practically new), which makes a nice focal point of natural light in our kitchen. When we gutted the kitchen, we made sure that we used materials that are reminiscent of the 1920s/30s era, but with modern amenities. We installed a beadboard backsplash and butcher block countertops. We sought out used stainless appliances. Hubby hand built all of the lower cabinets, but we used Ikea drawer mechanisms inside, as well as an Ikea farmhouse sink and faucet. Our method to decorating is to keep everything period correct. It truly breaks our hearts when we see old homes that have had gorgeous designs and elements ripped out and replaced with trendy, generic fixtures, that later go out of style. The home has no identity nor originality after that point.

We also scored this used built-in refrigerator. Hubby built a pull-out butler's pantry next to it. Both fit perfectly on this wall. Hubby hand-built cabinets above the refrigerator, and the top three cabinets are from Ikea. This entire area gave us tons of storage space. Hubby also made new panels for the refrigerator, so that it matched the cabinetry he made. This is my dream kitchen...at least I was able to enjoy it for a little while. (Sniff, sniff.)

Now we look from the kitchen into the dining room. When the walls were torn out by the previous owner, the built-in cabinet to the right stuck out like a sore thumb and did not look right. When we added a wall back in, it was amazing how much better it looked. Hubby found an old period-correct chandelier with natural aged patina and replaced the previous ugly brass 1980s chandelier. We linked a dimmer switch to the chandelier and it makes for a cozy space to dine in. We also added the beadboard on the lower half of the wall to mimic the beadboard backsplash we installed in the kitchen.

In this photo, we look through the doorway from the dining area back into the living room toward the entry way. We changed out the ugly fan with these fantastic large fans shown here, and added rheostat canned lighting above. The sconces on the wall are original to the house but were painted. They are real brass so we decided to remove them, soak them and brush the paint off, and reinstalled them. Popcorn texture was removed from the ceiling in the living room, and in the rest of the house too.

In our main hallway, there were many cracks in the walls from leveling our home. It had a popcorn ceiling and an ugly overhead light. We again used beadboard for the ceiling, which was perfect for covering up the popcorn texture and ugly plywood attic door. Cracks were caulked/patched and hallway was re-painted. All trim surrounding the multitude of doors were re-painted. The previous homeowner seemed to be into 50 shades of white, and none of our trim matched throughout the house. Oh, and see those gorgeous doors? At some point, one of the previous homeowners painted them. There was a beautiful tri-tone oak veneer in the middle! We scraped one of the doors that had paint flaking off of it and discovered what lied beneath. So, we painstakingly had scraped all 8 doors. They match the oak flooring too.

The attic door was just a plain white painted plywood covering. Hubby reinforced it but it still hung strangely. We installed the beadboard on the door itself, and added a nice latch to allow it to site flush  with the rest of the ceiling. The seamless beadboard ceiling really made the hallway pop. This is the first time I have discovered that changing the ceiling of a long hallway will impact the look.

This is our intimate little cozy master bedroom. We painted the walls and ceiling a medium flat taupe, repainted the mismatched trim, and installed the same fan that we installed in the living room. We also added canned lighting on rheostat--which was a big deal because there was no other lighting in this room other than the sconces you see here. By the way, the sconces previously there were ugly 1980s tacky fake brass sconces. Hubby had pulled the original sconces from other rooms located in random odd places in the house to replace the ugly sconces in the bedroom. Oh, how I love this little cave.

Enter into our bathroom. Original floor was still intact and in pretty terrific shape. Bathtub was original...large...deep. Truly nice to take a bath in. Lucky deal. Fixtures were changed out to classic shiny chrome. We also changed out the knobs on the vanity to clear glass. There were so many layers of paint on the trim, windows, vanity, and medicine cabinet that most doors did not shut. The details of the woodwork were hiding under all of that paint. Also, the 50 shades of white was prevalent in the bathroom. I spent my unemployed days with a heat gun and loud music removing about 5 layers of paint off of everything. It took a long time, but I eventually completed it and we re-painted it with a bright coat of paint. The details in the woodwork with only one coat of paint looked so much better, and newer, but everything is original in the bathroom. Hubby replaced the sink and toilet. That was all that was needed. Goes to show that old things need not be ripped out, only revived.

Lastly, this is the rear guest bedroom, which the second half in the back was added on sometime around the 70s or 80s by the previous homeowner. When they added on, they created a pseudo-wall kicking out by 1/2 foot or so. Again, it was difficult to decorate in this room because it was almost like two rooms back here...but not. So Hubby and I decided the lengthen the walls out more to create more separation and installed old original craftsman style french doors we salvaged from a friend's office (they are open in this photo.)  This way, it could be either two rooms or one room, depending on whether guests stayed over or we needed a home office. We also added beadboard to to this one particular wall to echo the material that we added in other parts of the house, and to hide the ugly transition from stucco to drywall.

You can see the addition of the house from the outside. The rear add-on had been built with Sears siding which was later recalled, and over time, we saw why. That siding turned to pulp, basically, and we began to get water damage. So, Hubby and I had to rip off all of the exterior and all of the sheetrock that had been damaged, and add insulation, new exterior, and new sheetrock. Hubby and I decided to use metal exterior siding, which looked more modern compared to the original stucco exterior. We wanted that contrast between the old house and new addition. We also salvaged a killer corner window to add more natural light into this area. There was a tiny window on that wall before. It is now a bright, happy space.

Hope you enjoyed the tour of our home, and all of the work that we have done to it. I plan to create a montage of before and after photos, because that is what will make your jaw drop. It did mine. It's funny that when in the midst of rehabbing a home, you forget what it was like before until you travel back in time through photo documentation. It's rewarding. After all of this, we must move forward. Cue the violins.

All photos via Art and Facts.

OMG 2015!

Happy New Year everyone!

The first day of the new year is cold and wet. Our beautiful spring-fed river steams as differences in temperatures collide. 

This view is the perfect setting to reflect.  Not only did this year play out in fast forward, but the entire decade flew by. The first thought in my head this morning was not "what will my resolutions be this year?"...it was, "OMG, 2005 was a decade ago!" Now 2005 didn't hold any major significance for me personally, but I remember that year significantly. 2005 may have been positively significant or disastrous for some of you. Nonetheless, 10 years ago feels more like 5 years ago! Do you feel the same way?

Here non-exhaustive list of five events that occurred in 2005. See if these facts give you that same 'OMG' feeling.

1) Canada and Spain become the fourth and fifth countries to to sanction same-sex marriage. [We are now at 10 countries that fully allow + 2 countries where same-sex marriage is legal in some jurisdictions.]*

2) YouTube was launched in the United Status on February 15th! [Our lives have been forever changed the past decade.]*

3) On July 24th, Lance Armstrong retired after winning his record 7th consecutive Tour de France victory. [If we only knew then what we know now....story of our lives, huh?]*

4) Hurricane Katrina causes devastation in the Gulf Coast, killing more than 1,836 people and causing about $115 billion in damage. [Today, full recovery has yet to be obtained.]*

5) On October 19th, Saddam Hussein goes on trial in Baghdad for crimes against humanity. [This year-long trial was a big step for Iraq's judicial system, however, by exposing the crimes of the regime, the trial seemed to intensify sectarian conflict.]*

It's important to look back at global historical events (in addition to our own personal histories) to better reflect on our lives moving forward. As a matter of fact, being able to recognize patterns is what gave humans their advantage in the evolutionary process. In this new digital era, people are now contending against machines. We are also contending against ourselves--we can be our very own enemy sometimes. 

So, instead of seeking out resolutions for 2015, I desire to achieve a delicate balance in my life moving forward: Living in the present always by quieting my mind from the nostalgia of the past and the unknown anticipation of the future. By looking back to my past only to identify patterns, in effort to continue toward self improvement. Knowing that I can't beat myself up for bad decisions made in the past, but to do my best with their outcome moving forward. Living in the present slows down the clock and prevents those 'OMG-where-did-the-time-fly' moments. I acknowledge this process will not be easy but on a positive note, pattern recognition is ingrained in humanity. We just have to open ourselves up to allow it.

*Sources: Historyorb.com, Pbs.org, History.com

The Floods of Current Affairs in Job Hunting

Hi folks. I've dropped off the radar for some time now. Hubby and I have been extremely busy with buttoning up all of the small and numerous projects on our stucco remodel. I will be posting updates on how that's coming along soon.

The other underlying facet of my absence has something to do with job misery. Unfortunately, we need jobs to pay for our bills, but it can feel like a penitentiary when you loathe what you do every day, and you hit the glass ceiling years ago. When the situation gets that bad, it can really affect our health, creativity and social lives. I can vouch that I have been head-deep into this "flood" and can't figure out how to get out.

Most of my free time has been wasted allocated to applying for new jobs, or cleaning the house in order to try to clear my head and soul from the icky feeling my job leaves me in at the end of the day. What's worse is the lack of response I receive after sending out my meticulously crafted resumes and cover letters--which, mind you, take hours to complete per job application. Why must we introduce ourselves on paper? Why are we overlooked simply because we cannot seem to sell ourselves in the exact way that the employer is looking for?

I know the majority of the population feels the same frustration. I ended up writing an applicant cover letter about how I really feel. I can't succumb to this marketplace prostitution any longer!

Apart from the painful crafting of resumes and letters to tailor to each job, I have on countless occasions logged into a company's website to apply for a position, and they want my social security number off the bat! In fact, they force you to enter it and if you don't...well, you cannot submit your application. One company was seeking it for the Work Opportunity Tax Credit (WOTC), which I can bet I'm not part of their target group, so no sense on hiring me! And should I be that hard up to willy-nilly give out my social security number so that big box employer can find out everything about me before they even decide if I'm fit for the job? What kind of nation are we? 

It's been years since I've been on the job market, but something has dramatically shifted. It has shifted toward benefiting the companies and not the people. I cannot tolerate these new requests that put my identity and privacy in jeopardy. I'd love to hear from you on your job application experiences, not only getting through hours of CV and letter crafting, but especially encountering online applications that fall into the gray "unlawful" category.

Dog Days of Summer

Teachers. We've had them in grade school. But it doesn't stop there. As adults, we continue to meet and connect with others who teach us about ourselves. Growing and learning are mutual. Without teachers, we would be stuck in a non-beneficial pattern. Perhaps you might have several teachers in your life right now, without realizing it.

Hubby is my teacher. My family members are my teachers. Our friends are my teachers. Even random strangers I have interacted with fleetingly have taught me something. Working from home has been challenging since my human interaction has waned significantly. Computers don't teach. They cause aggravation if anything. At the end of day, sometimes I need to scream.

However, I have discovered that there is one little living being that I spend the most time with, who is also my teacher...my dog. Each day, she provides to me an intrinsic connection to mother nature during these hot days holed up inside the house. She is my little reminder to live each day to its fullest. She reflects love and devotion. She enforces the sensory aspect of life. She is balanced.

What my dog has taught me:

1) Follow your nose and your eyes. Breathe in and truly look at your surroundings each day. 

2) Sunbathe no matter how hot it is! A dose of sun does wonders for the body. 

3) Explore...Always be curious. 

4) Continuously love, no matter how imperfect the object of your affection may be.

5) Exercise each day. It makes you calmer. 

6) Make time to goof around and play no matter what your age.

7) Equally make time for naps. 

8) If you find yourself near negative or unstable people/environments, just leave.
9) Remain devoted to your pack, but seek some time alone when needed.
10) Enjoy food as if it were your last meal. Do this every day.
11) Make new friends, always.

12) Cuddle with your favorite person.
13) Be you, and only you. 

14) Enjoy where you are and who you are with at this very moment. It could all change someday. 

Baby, Baby, Baby!

I apologize in advance for deviating from the usual random, lighthearted content in this blog by publishing this particular post. However, as random as I may be, this subject matter has been on my mind. Thusly, I felt it was warranted to let loose here.

As you may have deducted from previous posts, Hubby and I are quite busy...and broke. We have two houses on our plate, one of which is the victim of DIY renovation. We have very little time for ourselves.

With Hubby and I between the two and three-year mark in our marriage, we seem to be getting a constant one-sided pressure...from EVERYONE. I can always predict when someone segues the conversation into the dreaded seven-words. "Are you two planning on having kids?"

Obviously, a question of that nature is quite loaded. Each couple has their own set of challenges and thoughts. To answer such a question is in many forms difficult to provide an answer.

There are many couples couples out there itching to create a family after marriage. However, I believe there are couples who possess other goals beyond the baby fever. For the couples who belong in the latter category, goals and reasons to put the baby-makin' on the back burner can be complicated.

For us, I suppose the short answer of such a multifaceted question is that Hubby and I just don't have that achy, shaky feeling to procreate. Sure, we love kiddos and understand what they bring to a couple, transforming them into a family unit. However, we also understand that they are non-stop work and attention, and complete life transformers. Telling someone that we just don't really care to procreate results in complete dissonance.

We find ourselves wondering if we are the only ones in the world that have kid ambivalence. It's not that we completely despise the thought of children, but we don't really crave the idea either. We have discussed the child-or-not-to-child topic ad nauseam. In fact, our advantage/disadvantage list would be a more extensive version of the list below, but just humor me.

Pros to kids-

1) Funny

2) A unique version of you and your loved one, blended into one cute pint

3) Teaches you patience, love and imagination

4) Carry on your family genes into the world

Cons to kids-

1) Expensive

2) Undeterminable chance of the child souring, even with quality parenting

3) Test of your patience, freedom, and sanity

4) Aren't there too many people in the world already?

I sought help with a good, reliable friend that would be unbiased with this subject matter...the internets. Are we highly unusual people mixed into society's stream? This article, on Cup of Jo's blog seemed to put my mind at ease. The variety of comments below the post, even more so.

For now, I digress. We aren't planning for children. We don't have life lined up the way we'd prefer to if we were to have children. We have many other diverse concerns associated with bringing a life into the world. And most importantly,we don't seem to possess the type of bone-traveling passion that would warrant such a major decision.

[Exception to the rule: Sometimes life throws surprises our way. A child may not be planned but worked its way into your life. Just as I thought 10 years ago, (before meeting Hubby,) I thought I'd never get married, I'm now married and love every minute of it. The same has happened with friends who have not planned for children but have has "surprise" bundles of joy and are converted advocates for kiddos.]

For all of you folks with children (who ask your friends/ family sans children if they will have children,) consider the complexities of life-altering choices. Everyone is different--with different goals, passions, desires, incomes, illnesses (mental or physical), available time, location, or careers--children should be (and are typically) factored into this equation. The equation is very complex, and answering the dreaded seven-word question is mind-boggling.

For those of you who were previously ambivalent with the idea of a planned family, what brought you clarity toward a decision? I'd love to hear from you.

Photos via bigstock.com, sodahead.com, fugly.com.