Parting from Home

I was told that I will never know what it is like to be a mother until I have a child. I was told that realities will always differ from dreams. But no one ever told me what it would feel like to sell a house. Today, we officially closed on our little 1925 stucco home that we have labored and loved for over a decade.

Before our closing appointment, Hubby and I stopped by to pick up a few remaining belongings. I walked through each room, soaking it all in one last time. One. Last. Time. I touched each wall. Relished in each room's beauty. Felt the pride in all of the work we completed. Pure sadness rushed through me, knowing that we would no longer...

• Hear the wood floors creak and tap beneath our footsteps
• Look out toward the street and historic homes from our corner window
• Awake as the morning light peeks through the teak bedroom blinds
• Cook amazing meals in one of the best kitchens I've ever had
• Take hot baths in the extra large original bathtub
• Enjoy time with friends and family as they spontaneously stop by
• Hear the brass knocker at our door
• Fidget with the quirky deadbolt each time we enter the house
• Tend to the raised garden bed while the neighbor's dog ran about and barked at us
• Run into our wonderful neighbors on the street and talk for hours
• Brush against the large rosemary bushes while walking down the sidewalk
• Seeing the ornate light fixture casting dancing shadows onto our porch at night
• Backing out of the driveway and looking at one of the most unique houses I've seen, proudly calling it home

I thanked the house. The gratitude was unspeakable, and no words could define what this house has given us.

This house will not retain those memories. We take memories with us. As tragically depressing it was to say goodbye, I had to assure myself that I'm not leaving everything behind, just the house. The house remains for others to make their memories in. I hope that what now feels like infinite sadness, would eventually become a shining moment of our lives starting out together.

A great article that sums up the selling blues quite well, "Saying Farewell to a Home" brought some solace, and the reader comments were comforting. Some folks however, claimed they never overcame the grief of selling their home. I suppose only time will tell for us.

For now, we have no choice but to move forward, (with what I'm sure will be more home renovations in another house,) and new memories to make.